The Wedding
I always dreamed of having a simple wedding devoid of all those exhaustive rituals… you know… like the ones you see in the movies… where-in couples get married simply by exchanging malas in a temple. (How inexpensive and less time-consuming!) I wanted THAT followed-up with one BIG party.
Tried selling this to my folks and her folks, but then, there weren’t any takers. What shoulda been a simple 1 hour event, morphed into a full 1½ day event. This meant that we had to wear 2 sets of new clothes, given a ritual. Thats Engagement+Morning vratham+Wedding+ Nalangu+ Reception+ Grihapravaesam entry thingy. Check out the Photos.
And then, there were these RITUALS. Thought i could do away with ‘em completely since this was a Love Marriage. But we ended-up following all the rituals, which were unique to her family AND mine. (Thanks! Additional 200% more MOOLAH got spent)
And then, there were these GIFTS which need to be given to each others’ folks, prior to the wedding. I was like… baby… can we cancel these out? You know… why blow up money on all these unnecessary things? You see, us Tamilian men, neva give up without a fight.
I backed-off (without showing my puraMudhugu) in 1 tenth of a mill second.
And I wanted to split the wedding cost in the ratio of almost 50:50 with her. (Now you know why i was keen on minimizing the expenditure!) Thought that this was a fair thing to do. What i didn’t realize was that, based on this decision of mine, we ended up spending additional 200% more!
Nalangu is one such ritual which helps the Bride and the Groom break ice (atleast, thats how it was, back in the medieval and ancient times). But i saw this as an opportunity to cash-in on all that lost dough.
A few silver items along with some valuables were placed in a vessel filled up with water. The Bride and the Groom are supposed to fight-it-out and grab as many valuables as possible. But even before i could make a move, she cleared it all out. I mean, not just 1 or 2 items… she took ‘em all! 
I told myself, that its ok to lose a battle here and there. What really matters is how you win the war.
And now its Deepavali time! The festival of lights is just around the corner! 
We just bought TV, Washing Machine, Refrigerator,Furniture and so on and so forth…. Good that we were able to cash-in on Diwali Sale in Bangalore. OH wait a minute… this means that we both have to send gifts to our respective In-Laws…… Besides that i just gave a 10 month rental security deposit to my landlord and not mention all the other expenditure. Just kidding!
You can call me old-fashioned or whateva, all these years I always used my Debit card to pay for my purchases. For the first time in my life, I am goin actively start using my credit card.
And all this while, i was thinking that, I get to take the call, on how much i wanted to spend for my wedding…. All you young punks out there, let this be some help to you…
life changes a lot after marriage…all the best muthu.
Most of them are questionable, especially when one doesnt know the meaning of the slokas. Think by uttering one of the slokas, i have vowed to have life-long-employment! Now, isnt that a real bummer!?!
“Minimalist Marriage” sounds pragmatic. But then, guess its okay to let the family take-over
For us Nairs, luckily the wedding ceremoney is very minimalistic. No shlokas, no nalangu. Just tie thaali, exchange the malas, rings and have three rounds around the mandap.
About the post wedding expenses, I slowly bought all the furniture, kitchen gears and electronic itmes over the last two years and now I have a fully setup house with everything needed. But what I dont have is a wife. I’m not in love too.
Mallu weddings are so different that i actually missed attending one in kerela… took a 5 minute break from the marriage hall to get some fresh air, and by the time i got back, it was all over.
chao
Hey Shub, Thanks for your wishes!
I am new to ur blogs. But remeber one thing,a country which forgets its cultural will not survive. All the rituals and culturals have meaning. Its not just a man and woman getting married. If you have time and patience adn ready to know, please ask ur grandma or anyother relative, they will tell abt the importance. Dont be like those americans. dont aim for money also. Money cant buy all the things.
Sorry for lil harsh. Happy Married life
To cut to the chase, we really wanted to follow these rituals and did really enjoy them. I was merely attempting to use “Vanja Pughazchi Ani”and make the whole thing sound light.
I’ve actually been looking around for detailed explanation of these rituals and will be blogging about it soon. So watch out for my next blog entry!
And thanks for your wishes!
aren’t u
ha ha
Sounds nice doesn’t it?
I’ve gotta think of this option very seriously
And let us pull Ranjeeth into this blog to give him some inputs on 50:50 sharing
What say?
But, whatever it is, your blog has given me enough inputs about what my weddings gonna look like – or rather feel like